Secrets are best kept secret
by WhisperedTruths
Summary: rory isn't as innocent as before, but nobody, except her friends, know that
1. that drunken night what happened

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls  
  
Rating: R for swearing and dark content  
  
Chapter 1: That drunken night.what happened?  
  
Summary: this is like a prologue. Rory is a freshman at Yale, after her birthday she and her friends go get drunk at a local bar.  
  
'Life is hell. Life is hell. Why won't this headache go away?' Rory thought while rubbing her temples. 'This is my party, I will not leave early.' She stubbornly thought.  
  
"rory, babe, you okay?" Jenna asked, well actually slurred. "You should go home ror if her head hurts. No use dragging the rest of us down."  
  
Rory smiled at her friend, her best friend at collage. Jenna wasn't really mean or coldhearted, just drunk. She was always drunk, even when she's sober. Rory nods her head and decides to leave; she wasn't having any fun, besides they'd do this again next weekend, maybe even tomorrow.  
  
"Hey, Jen tell everyone bye for me, my head's come undone" Rory said without a second thought in her wording.  
  
"No driving, girl! You drank. Gimme the keys" Jenna ordered.  
  
"I'm just getting some Advil from my car then I'll hail a cab back. Wanna come with, you've had enough." Jenna put her hand on her chest a feigned hurt. Then she shook her head violently which reminded Rory that her head hurt.  
  
"Fine, see you tomorrow. And remember it's not my fault if you get dragged into an alley and raped. Got it?" Jenna rolled her eyes, but she loved the way Rory took care of people, how she gave advice without it seeming like it.  
  
"Love ya babe." Jenna yelled to Rory. Rory walked out of the bar and Jenna saw a cute boy, man probably, exit after Rory.  
  
"lucky girl" Jenna muttered right before Drunk Girl by Something Corporate, came on.  
  
"I kissed a drunk girl, yes I did, I kissed a drunk girl on the lips"  
  
Rory stumbled toward her car, she hadn't realized how much she had drank. She thought she only a beer and a shot of rum. The pounding in her head brought her back to the current car finding mission. Her eyes scanned the parking lot and she couldn't find the car her grandparents gave her. But she did find the jeep. She remembered that her car was in the shop, and Lorelai insisted that she take the jeep and get drunk off her ass that weekend. 'Well I did' Rory thought cynically.  
  
Rory fumbled with her keys, suddenly very dizzy. She struggled with putting the key in the lock, but eventually succeeded and opened the door. She leaned over the driver's seat and opened the glove compartment, hoping that the precious pills were in there. After finding them, she then realized she'd have to fight the baby locked bottle. Five minuets of swearing and twisting she finally managed to open the bottle, she poured the pain relieving pills into her hand and was about to put them in her mouth when.  
  
The pills fell on the pavement, the keys landed by the front tire, and the door was left open. Jenna and the rest of her and Rorys friends walked out of the popular club about three hours after Rory left. They were laughing and barking drunken insults at eachother, they sloshed around the sidewalks trying to walk straight. They turned the corner, the wrong corner, and saw the most sobering sight.  
  
Please review! 


	2. Always change for the better or worse

Chapter 2 Always change for the better...or hey the worse  
  
January-4 months after her birthday  
  
Rory looks into her mirror and smiles at what is looking back at her, a punk, a slut, a party girl, etc. Rory laughs as she puts her fourth eyebrow ring in. 'life is... fun' she thinks to herself. over the last 4 months she successfully got rid of her good girl, virgin Mary, innocent look. She is a wild woman ready to explore and ready to have the fun her mother always joked about. 'If only she knew....' Rory thinks. On Friday nights she is the innocent Rory, but only around family and Stars Hollow. Everybody else knows her for her parties and for her drunk way of living. but she is still Rory, still getting a 4.0 and still studying. Nobody could say she was wasting her life.  
Someone knocks on her door. She looks up, and smiles wickedly. 'this will be fun' she thinks. she goes over to her door and hesitates. What if it's mommy? Pops in her head. After all Lorelai has been saying things like: "I never see you anymore" "You've changed so much" and "blah blah blah" (after awhile anything Lorelai said was translated to blah blah blah.)  
  
"Who's there?" Rory asks.  
  
"Your booty call!" A male voice answers.  
  
Rory opens the door and starts kissing the man without even looking at him. She leads him to her bed, then to her conservative, no sex, roommates bed. And without hesitation she took off her shirt and then started to fiddle with his belt. The man puts up no objection.  
  
An hour later, Rory walks into a bar wearing a black halter top that leaves no imagination, and a matching mini skirt. She walks into the back room and grabs a waitress apron.  
  
"My my ror you're looking flushed! What was his name?" A woman around Rory age, Gwen, accuses.  
  
"Gwen, come on you know me, I don't know their names. But I'll name him Gray eyes, he had gray eyes, when... well you know."  
  
"no, I don't, remember I'm still a virgin. please continue, when he..."  
  
"Fuck you Gwen, when he reached his peak. Get it now?" Rory angrily walks out of the room to the hopping bar scene.  
  
She serves a few drinks then a mysterious man pulls her into a kiss, his hands squeezing her ass, his other hand slipping a fifty dollar bill in her halter. She steps out of the kiss and drags her finger along the mans face then across her lips. She backs up with a look of pure dirty thoughts written across her face. "I love my job." She says aloud to anybody who could hear her.  
  
"Break time Gilmore, Smith, Langter, and Bishop." The boss yells out on the floor. When nobody makes a break for the back room he stands up on the bar. All the employees look at the clock and the people whose name was called all scurry off to the break room to enjoy a shot of vodka and chatting for over a half hour.  
  
Rory walks into the room and takes her shot like a pro, without a chaser and without a funny face. She plops down on the black sofa and starts counting her tips.  
  
"How much you make?" A blonde girl, Laney Smith, asks.  
  
"so far, about $178.50. A guy, who had blue eyes tipped me a shot of tequila, so I passed and Jim gave me the $4.50 that it would cost. Stupid blue eyes." Rory rolls her eyes. She doesn't bother to ask Laney how much she made in tips because she doesn't care. Gwen walks up to Rory and sits down next to her.  
  
"Shit you made a lot and you have another 6 hours to work. Lucky." Gwen pauses. "How'd you get of Friday night dinner?" She asks almost looking forward to Rory's panic look. It never came, no sigh, not even a 'Oh shit'  
  
"I forgot about it. Well Fuck that. I'm going go find a guy to screw real quick, okay?" Rory says.  
  
The truth was that ever since that night, she had stopped caring, stopped feeling. And then in December it was final, any emotion she was feeling disappeared like her pregnancy.  
  
Please tell me what you think. 


	3. Dealing with the night

Chapter 3 dealing with the night  
  
October 10 the morning of the incident  
  
Jenna and everybody saw the most sobering sight. They saw a bloody, beaten, and raped Rory. Robert walked up to her and checked her vitals. She still had a pulse and was breathing, although just barely.  
  
"rory? Rory? Are you okay, sweetie? Is she okay Rob?" Jenna practically screamed.  
  
"Um, well she is alive." He answers, scared of what could happen.  
  
".and awake." a small, hoarse voice continued. Rob looked down at Rory and looked at her eyes. They were open, but the normally beautiful blue color was now a dark cloudy pigment that made her look like she had no life left inside her. Rob bends down and picks rory up. She makes a small noise that everybody could tell was one of pain.  
  
"Put me down, Robby. I can walk. I can, really." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself, rather than the others. Rob reluctantly puts her down. She stumbles for a while before she finds her balance, which is actually Rob picking her up again.  
  
"Let's take you to the hospital." Jenna says to Rory. She walks up to her and grabs Rorys hand, and squeezes it.  
  
"No, no, take me to my dorm, no hospital. If you take me there I'll lie, I really will. I won't go to the hospital. They'll call mom. No, no, please don't take me to the hospital. I don't wanna go. Just. no . hospital ." Rory breaks down into tears and stuggles to get away from Rob, Jenna, and the others. She pulls her hand away from Jenna's comfort, and starts to free herself from Robs soothing arms and stability. Rob doesn't give up though. He knows what a women goes through after they've been raped. His older sister was raped and he saw what it was like for her to cope. So he holds onto Rory, knowing it's the last she wants.  
  
"Okay we won't take you to the hospital, for now. We'll go to your dorm and figure it out then, okay. But let me carry you so you don't fall, alright?" He explains to her, hoping she will settle down and stop fighting him like he was the guy who caused her the most intense pain she would ever feel, have to go through, have to get over.  
  
When they arrived at rorys door, they knocked, hoping her roommate would open it. The door opened and a very sleepy figure scowls at her roommates drunkenness.  
  
"Sara, could you please move those books from rorys bed?" Meagan asks kindly, even though she could do it herself. Sara does it.  
  
"Did she get drunk off her ass again? I'm sick of having to deal."  
  
"No. She was raped." Connor cuts her off. He had a crush on Rory and was making real progress. He even planned to ask her out for next week. He didn't know what to do, he wanted to do something that Rory would remember him for. He wanted to be like Rob and take action. But he wasn't a take action kind of guy. He was like Rory, he liked to watch and only take action when absolutely necessary.  
He walked up to Rory, who was now on her bed staring at the ceiling, he takes her hand gently and leans into her face. She doesn't notice. He leans closer to her ear and sees that it is bitten and bloody.  
  
"It'll be okay, I promise. You'll get through this, I promise. I'll be here for you, I promise. I'll love you no matter what, I promise." He whispers to her.  
  
"Let's take her to the hospital now, she's unresponsive." Rob says. He turns to Sara. "Could you drive us, we are still a little drunk."  
  
"No, we're not going to the hospital!" Rory shouts at everybody.  
  
"Rory, come on you could have an STD, or you could be pregnant. Not to mention, look at you, you're battered." Meagan tries to convince the stubborn patient.  
  
"No, they'll call my mom. I don't want her to know."  
  
"Rory, they won't. Tell them not to, it's all confidential." Jenna explains.  
  
"No, I don't want to. That's final!" She shouts again and gets up and grabs a towel.  
  
"What about the STD? Rory I know you're hurting, but there are free clinics that can help you and not call your mom. Rory, who cares if she's called? She deserves to know, she's your mom, and she'd want to know. But if you want to keep it a secret from her, then fine that can be done. But Rory don't not give yourself the treatment you need." Rob yells at her, hoping that it would go through her clouded mind.  
  
"Leave me alone, I know what I'm doing. I'm taking a shower."  
  
" rory, don't you want this guy to go to jail, lock the ass hole up, make the bastard suffer like he made you suffer." Rob tries as a last attempt. "The hospital gets all the evidence, otherwise it's your word against his."  
  
"I only saw his eyes, they were green, I was out for most of it. Besides I was drunk, I don't remember if I said no, or tried to stop him.. I feel dirty, I'm taking a shower, and then I'm going home. If anyone asks, I fell down some stairs." 


	4. Rory you've changed, how come?

January- later that night

Chapter 4 Rory you've changed, how come?

The knock on the door startled Sara out of her studying. 'God, did Rory get drunk again?" She thought before getting up and answering. She opened the door and there stood Lorelai, a very pissed off mother who had to spend Friday night covering for her only offspring and now wanted to know why.

"Lorelai! Hi. Rory's not here. I think she's at work." Sara supplied. The last thing she thought she'd have to do is cover for her roomate. But she really needed to study and in order to do so she needed to get the angry mother out of her room.

"Yeah I'll wait for her." Lorelai looked mad. She sounded mad and irritated.

"Um I was just trying to study. Could you maybe wait outside or something?" Sara asked knowing that it wouldn't work when she saw the irritated look of Lorelai.

"No. I'll just wait for her here. And there will be some yelling. You might want to go to the library to study." Sara gathered her books and her keys. She looked at her bed and cursed Rory hoping she'd get what she deserved and wash her sheets.

In the hallway Sara saw her roomate and attempted to ignore her but she really didn't want to hear a fight, even if she was in the library.

"Rory" Sara called out. Rory turned to look at her with a smirk on her face.

"Your mother is in the room. So you may want to clean up a little." Sara then walked off.

"Okay." Rory sighed. She walked into the public bathroom and opened the window. She pulled out a joint and lit up. In between puffs she'd slowly take out her peircings, cursing at her mother because some peicing were still new and would probably close up. When she finished the joint the washed her face and waited about an hour before she ventured into her room. 'Good thing I keep all my secrets on me' She thought and patted her purse which was filled with her make up, drugs, peircings, cigarettes and condoms. The was more of course, but Rory didn't care at all. So what if her mother found out about these things and then the 300 dollars cash that she had made in tips that night. She'd be a whore and a drug dealer.

"Well fuck this. I am so not doing this clean." Rory said to herself. She went into her purse and pulled out a flask. She opened it and pulled out a plastic baggie filled with white powder. She was still new at this type of drugs but was fast becoming an expert. Sure it's safer to melt the damn powder and inject it into the bloodstream but she loved the feeling it left her after she snorted it. She loved looking in the mirror watching blood drip down her nose. It made her feel numb to the world. It made her feel close to death.

Rory wiped her nose and gave the mirror a smile before she went to her room. 'Act surprised Rory' she thought to herself. She opened the door.

"Sara I'm home" She announced only to be met with silence. 'Maybe mom left' She thought and then opened the door wider to her mother's angry stare. But the stare turned into immeadiate concern.

"Rory. Your nose. Baby you're bleeding." Lorelai said as she jumped into action and grabbed a tissue from Sara's desk. Rory held in her smile. She loved how her mother was oblivious to it all. Absolutley loved it.

"Oh God." Rory faked as she slowly put her hand to her nose to wipe away the blood.

"Here Here take the tissue." Rory stepped back into the shoes her mother expected her to wear and did as she was told. She took the tissue and held it up to her nose. But she got a little dizzy while doing so and sat down on her roomates bed, the bed her and gray eyes had sex in only hours before.

"Oh sweetie are you okay? Let mommy make it all better." Lorelai put her hand on her daughters forehead and was surprised that it wasn't warm. But in doing so she noticed holes in her baby's ears and eyebrows and even nose. She wondered but didn't say anything. 'Maybe she got drunk one night with Jenna and the gang and got peirced all over. After all it would explain why there isn't any jewelry in them. But that could mean she could have a tatoo too.' Lorelai pulled back from her daughters side and thought over her thoughts. She didn't know her baby anymore. And that made her mad. Luckly for her she had a legitament reason to be mad.

"Rory why weren't you at Friday Night Dinner?" Lorelai screamed hoping Rory would wince and she could blame her daughter for drinking. But Rory didn't she looked surprised, like she didn't know it was friday.

When Rory heard her mom accuse her of skipping out she smiled inside. 'Mom is so wrapped around my finger. She hasn't the slightest clue.' She thought in her mind while her voice was speaking lies.

"Is it Friday? Oh my God I can't believe I forgot. Why didn't you call my cell and tell me. I would have come. I have just been so wrapped up in studing and working at the club that it never even occured to me that today was Friday. Oh my God is Grandma mad. Oh she so going to kill me." Rory looked at her mom with her big blue eyes.

Lorelai's expression changed to one of sympathy. She knew how Rory was an overacheiver and could easily get so absorbed in something that some things went forgotton. Still though it was not like Rory to forget friday night dinner with her grandparents. Something has changed. Rory had changed and she wanted to know what. She wanted to know why.

"Oh honey. I covered for you. Now you owe mommy. And I want my baby to spend the weekend with me stars hollow. You can even bring Jenna and we can get drunk. And mommy can make sure you aren't overdoing yourself."Rory winced. Her and Jenna didn't really speak to eachother anymore. Jenna didn't like how Rory had changed so they parted ways. Occiasionaly thay would get together and study or have coffee. Just to keep in touch. But now Rory was going to have to call in a favor from Jenna and she wasn't sure if Jenna owed her any favors.

"Yeah okay. Is my nose still bleeding?" Lorelai shook her head no. She was going to watch Rory like a hawk and find out what was going on once and for all.

"okay I'll go call Jenna and ask her." Rory walked over to her bed then back to her roomates where her purse was. She pulled out her cell phone slowly because it was lodged next to her cigarettes and condoms. 'Oh man I'm not gonna get any this weekend.' Rory thought bitterly.

"I have to go outside for this. I don't have any signal in the room. I'll be back in a second to pack." It was true she didn't get signal in her room but she neglected to use her dorm phone. Lorelai didn't notice. But as soon as Rory left the room she pulled out her cell phone to check if there was signal.

"You are just paranoid Lorelai." She said aloud to herself after discovering that indeed there was no signal.

Rory stepped outside into the cold January air and dialed her former best friends number.

"Rory." Jenna stated once she answered the phone.

"Jenna. Look I have to ask a favor. You can say no and stuff and I won't mind but my mom is making me stay in SH this weekend and wanted you to come along."

"Do you want to me to come?"

"Well yeah. But I don't want you to tell Mom about what I've been up to." Rory stated hoping Jenna would just say no.

"Ah the strings Pinnochio. So mommy's getting suspicious and you want a buffer."

"Just say no Jenna." Rory hissed into the phone annoyed at how Jenna was avoiding the question.

"I'll go Ror. And you're secrets are safe with me. After all some secrets are best kept secret. But Rory you've changed, how come?"

"You know how. You know why. So lets's just pretend I'm still the perfect little Rory who doesn't know how bad this world really is. Lets just hold hands and pretend that I still have something to live for. Lets just pretend that I never tasted evil, okay? Let's just help my mom keep her sanity. "

"Yeah casue who knows what finding out that her daughter is a bitch and a slut would do to her. Let's just hold hands. And pretend we're still friends." Jenna cried out to her former friend.

She couldn't deny the fact that she missed Rory, either Rory. In fact when Rory changed Jenna didn't resist it, didn't try and change her she just went with the flow. But she called it quits when she realized that Rory wasn't going to change back. She called quits when rory went hard core. She called it quits when she started to have nightmares about Rory in the Alley and what it must have done to her dear friend. She called it quits when Rory tried to kill herself and wouldn't let anybody help her.


End file.
